Sorry for the crappy photograph, but it was snapped from my car on my iPhone. Someone, in their infinite wisdom, decided to put in a subdivision right behind the biggest cemetery in town (it stretches for about a mile). I’m sure kids will just love growing up in this neighborhood.
I was mentioned in a post on a forum today. The poster spelled my name “Breenan.”
I’m beginning to wonder if there is some kind of conspiracy going on. My name has been spelled “Brannon,” “Brennon,” “Brenner,” “Brendan,” “Brendon,” and “Brennan.”
I have an uncle who thinks my name is “Brandon.” He’s not a distant uncle.
What’s so hard about spelling my name correctly?
It’s been a long time since I’ve written or recorded any new music, and some of my more vocal fans have been pressuring me to remedy that. I’ve decided to attempt to record an album over the summer, and perhaps even try to produce it and market it for real. Additionally, I’m going to make the process of writing, recording, producing and marketing the album very public by documenting every step of the way on my blog.
Time, Energy and Priorities
I’m a husband and a father, and over the past two years I’ve noticed a shift from primarily self-identifying as an artist to self-identifying as a family man and provider. I enjoy spending time with my wife and son, it’s one of the most important aspects of my life and one I’m not willing to sacrifice. I have to make time for creativity without attenuating the quality time I spend with my family.
If it were only a question of time, that would be an easy fix: I’d just stay up late the way I used to before Parker was born. However, I no longer have the energy and focus I possessed pre-fatherhood. I’m not sure how I’m going to solve this problem, but when I have some ideas, I’ll let you know.
Joe McDonald said this over here:
It’s Not Done Until You’re Proud Of It. The world has a ton of artists, of art, of games, of bands, of professionals. The amount of stuff we produce and participate in is astounding. And, as a result, the world has no need of things which are good enough. And I reproach myself for going to press with something that I told myself was “good enough.” If it isn’t something that you’re unwaveringly proud of, there’s zero need for it.
This really resonated with me. Joe could’ve written only that one sentence at the beginning of the paragraph, and it would’ve gotten my nomination for blog post of the year.
Since I’ve become a father and time and energy is scarce, I’ve been guilty of settling for good enough in order to get any artistic output at all. Two or three years ago, that wouldn’t have been acceptable for me. Lately, Parker is getting much more independent and Sarah and I both have more time to work on stuff, but I can tell that I’ve dulled my edge a bit. I could write a long list of things I used to be better at than I am now. It’s lack of practice, lack of time, lack of passion.
I’ve noticed a subtle change in myself. I’ve become complacent. I’ve become concerned with making a living rather than creating art. I don’t like this at all. This is not the kind of father I want my son to have. I’m determined to be a wolf and not a sheep. Not only hungry, but vicious.
A few weeks ago I was commissioned to design this logo. I was determined to do the best job I could do, so I put about 25 hours into it. As a result, I ended up making about a third the hourly rate I’d like. That’s okay. I just couldn’t stop until it was something I was proud of. The client loved it. She’s proud of it, too. Hopefully, this will lead to more work, but even if it doesn’t I pushed my skill to its limits and raised the bar for all my future work.
When I read Joe’s post this afternoon, I felt like shooting a pistol into the sky.
After this month, I’m losing two students that I really loved teaching. Dongwook Kim is moving back to Korea, and Griffin Limerick has landed a newspaper internship in Rome, Georgia, just a stone’s throw from Howard Finster’s Paradise Gardens. Both of these guys have huge futures ahead of them.
Dongwook, at age 14, is one of the most diligent students of music theory and technique I’ve ever had. A couple of weeks ago I laughed when another teacher tried to show him the blues scale. Dongwook can already recite the 7 modes of the major scale in every key and knows quite a bit about harmony. At today’s lesson we worked on superimposing the ascending melodic minor scale over chords with different roots, and thinking in terms of its modes.
Griffin is an aesthetic polymath, and is a man after my own heart. We talk as much about literature and philosophy as about guitar. I maintain that the guitar is an artistic medium just like any other, and to truly master it, you must be familiar with all forms of art. It’s great to be able to share much of the wisdom I learned from Steve Giordano, and from my explorations into various cultures of knowledge.
You guys will be greatly missed.
Todd Henry, over at Accidental Creative has come up with the 7-word bio as a way for artists to describe themselves. After much twisting of phrase, I’ve come up with the following to describe myself:
Autodidactic polymath, cultural enthusiast, and transdisciplinary artist.
What is your 7-word bio?
Yep. I think this is my favorite picture of him.
So, if you really, really know me, you probably guessed that this post was an April Fool’s Day joke.
I’m sorry if I upset anyone.
If you sent me words of support and encouragement to keep fighting the good fight, thanks. I need it. Even though I’d never seriously entertain the idea of abandoning my art, sometimes I envy those who are able to live normal lives without having to exorcise their creative demons daily. If you really want to help, find an artist whose work you appreciate (hey! It could even be me or Sarah!) and go to their gig, or commission a painting from them, or just send the money under the guise of “buying them a drink.” They probably will spend it on bills or groceries, but they’ll appreciate the thought.
If you thought that my last post was good news and that by giving up and growing up, I’d be making the right decision, shame on you.
I’ve been having doubts for a while now.
I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to make a living as an artist and it’s gotten me nowhere but broke and depressed. Just today, two students put guitar lessons on hiatus because of sports, and two more didn’t bother showing up this week. I’ve given up on playing gigs because all the kids want to hear are 80s cover bands. I’ve been submitting my portfolio to various design agencies around the world, but keep getting rejections. I haven’t read anything, written anything, or drawn anything in so long that it’s disturbing. The only people who want my work are people want it for free. It’s discouraging. I’m discouraged. I’m sick of it.
My family needs money and benefits, and I’m the husband and father of this family.
It’s time to grow up. I’ve decided that I’m going to purge about 3/4 of my library, sell my guitars, and donate my art supplies to whatever thrift store will take a bunch of ratty semi-used art supplies.
I’ve been offered a job working on the assembly line at Mando, one of the Korean car manufacturers that recently built a factory in the area. The hours are crap, but the money is good, and Koreans really value responsibility to the family, so the benefits are great. At night, I’m going to be taking classes in business administration through the University of Phoenix.
Anyone who wants to buy a bunch of guitars for a fair price, let me know.
This list is from a great article over on Wise Bread: